Doug Steponin our expert of the day, writes:
Those Viagra ads are totally misleading! Any idiot can get “in the mood” when two adults are alone in a room (Or in a bathtub!) But with fussy infants, noisy 4 year olds, or prying 13 year olds around, how on earth can ANYONE have the freedom to have noisy sex, or any sex at all? Kids are the result of our love and passion, but they sure (unintentionally, of course) know how to kill a mood or destroy any chance for spontaneous, loud, and free sex in the home. What can you do?
There are two distinct paths to fix this problem.
Path #1: Get out of the house! While that may be obvious, studies have shown that less than 3% of married couples have EVER gone to a hotel room in their home town. “That’s a waste of money,” the conservative spouse says (could be you or her). Really? How much is marriage counseling? A two hour tryst in a hotel room is priceless. You are not going to go there every week (But you could!) but for spontaneous, re-light your fire enjoyment, nothing beats having a “fake” affair with your wife. Try it! If it is too uncomfortable the first time, push through your shyness and do it again! Meet her there and close the door quickly. Specific rules and psychological triggers for role playing will be discussed in another article, but trust me, even if at first one of you feels ridiculous, you’ll get over it quickly when the clothes come off!
Try a drive-in movie and make sure neither of you cares too much about the film. Bring some wine and cheese. Make sure one of you plays hard to get.
Do it in your car. Nothing is more spontaneous than having a beautiful dinner out, a bottle of wine, and not being able to make it home before her panties come off. If she is too nervous to do it in the restaurant parking lot, tease her on the way home and do it in your car in your own driveway or garage.
Path #2: As the kids get older, they will learn about the birds and the bees. Yes, of course they will figure out where they came from and they will generally be grossed out. Most couples continue to hide their sexuality from their children. Personally, I believe this is wrong. By publicly displaying your love (not your penis) you send a clear message to your kids that husbands and wives love and honor each other. Kiss her in front of the kids. In fact, kiss her passionately in front of them. Letting the children know that their parents are madly in love with each other will actually make them feel more secure.
After they realize you “don’t care” about them looking away while you make out, you will be less likely to care about any noises coming from the bedroom at night. They already are grossed out. But deep down inside, it makes them feel more secure in their family.
A closed bedroom door means only one thing: STAY OUT! As my wife and I went through the process of being more open, we occasionally forgot to lock the door. As fate would have it, ALL 3 kids came in, without knocking on three separate moments during one of our 2 hour sessions! Suffice it to say, we still lock the door as often as possible, but the kids ALWAYS knock, regardless.
Your marriage and your sexuality is known by all. Don’t hide it. Let your wife know that your marriage is MORE important than their homework. Then, let the kids know (at the level they can understand) that alone time with your wife is the way married couples stay married.
For tips on how to increse your wife’s sex drive, click here.
